I think chivalry is fine as an alpha male trait, and absurd as a beta one. I think the story is false / one-sided. There is no way girls used to fall in love with beta men who put them in pedestals.
Maybe if they had lived in a tower and believed in fairy tales and had never seen a cock before marriage. But then reality would strike, and they would be fucking whatever alpha they could and turn their marriage into a cuckhold, or would grow up resentful and trapped.
So I dont think this ever worked.
When it comes down to chivalry / niceness / sensibility, these traits can increment the value of a man who is already attractive, but also rest value from the man if he isnt attractive enough. Unsolicited love + nice + beta + chivalry = creep.
The more I look at feminism, the more I see it as the women´s desire to get rid of their beta male captors. They want the alpha and no beta no rules no society is going to hold them down anymore.
“so for a relationship to work, the man needs to assume the burden of being strong, and being determined, and of taking on some sort of life mission. ”
No, for a relationship to work you just need to be a MAN. If thats a burden, then you are not the MAN, next.
You see it as a burden because you dont see it in you, not because it isnt there.
You would think its less of a burden to make her your mission, have her tell her what to do and measure happiness from her point of view, but thats how things never work and never would. Being the MAN and being happy yourself takes 10% of the energy you require to be a functioning beta. The remaining 90% you will use to hunt, have fun, compete with other men and grow.
Because a MAN is what your body and energy scheme is designed to be, being a MAN is whats going to be easy and feel natural.
The burden you feel comes from all of the self imposed and externally imposed exigencies, facades, hurts, malfunctioning stuff, eg. neurosis, and you are trying to run a fake alpha persona on top of that, so of course THAT is exhausting.
The sensitive man without a backbone, nope, thats not what girls want.
Men were not made to cry, just like girls were not made to conquer danger and change the world.
You can find your self-pitty and cry all day and have some people hug you and tell you they understand, oh poor thing! you little thing you are so weak, so cute! everything is going to be alright!
But it wouldnt feel alright, would it.
You are not entitled to have an opinion.
Opinions is all we are. Whenever the world interacts with you and wherever your energy goes and pours, thats your opinion talking.
We either have our opinions dance along with the big ones, or we mold our own. We either get our opinions from facts ( chocolate is darker than vanilla), preferences ( chocolate is better than vanilla) , experience (chocolate is dirty), or from others (wonka & the chocolate stories).
It doesnt matter, no opinion is ever right, which doesnt matter either, because opinions are abundant.
We see reality through a million broken mirrors, we “are” a million broken mirrors, and none has the whole picture. Every opinion is valuable, helpful, cheap, and wrong, and thats good.
So, this being “entitled” to an opinion is a pretense to make our opinion right, just because its ours – when most of the time its not even ours-. Being untitled to have an opinion isolates you from reality, makes you poor.
Every entitled opinion is unreasonable. Every entitled opinion refuses change, growth. Every entitled opinion is an unmovable stone, thus hides a secret, thus its a band aid for the hurt.
Instructions to get out of Pavlov´s machine
1 – Pay attention to yourself when you are under stress, and check for dissonant / involuntary responses.
2 – Decide what your new default response is going to be. Decide to ditch all the other responses.
3- Practice the stress situation until the new response is fixed. Go back to #1.
In other words, decide whats going to be your response to any given stimuli, and make it natural.
In other words, reframe everything and be nonreactive.
In other words, decide your own reality.
In other words, you are your actions. As long as your behaviour is based on reaction, the matrix has you.
What is the magnetic field? I asked when I was a teenager.
Do thoughts have magnetic fields? can we measure the energy of a thought?
Since force fields affect every particle under their domain, are we altering everything around us just by being here, being what we are?
Since fields diminish with the distance but never disappear, can we say our projection reaches the infinite? are we all filling the whole universe with ourselves? is the whole universe being projected on us?
Can we say my whole body is under your influence, just because you are in the room? how can we measure this influence if we travel to different parts of the globe?
Is every particle in the universe aware of us? if I move my hand without touching the board, is the magnetic field of the board aware of it?
Is this measurable?
I can say these were hard questions for a teacher who is trying to explain electrons and magnetic forces and only cares about doing his job, and wants his students to memorize and pass the course. I was told I would find my answers later on, and I did, but not in the academy.
There cannot be answers when asking questions makes you look bad.
Everyone has a bias. The bigger and more evident it is to everyone else outside, the more invisible it is for anyone inside.
The bigger an issue, the more you overlook it. The more something influences every action, the more you take it for granted.
It doesnt matter if the issue is good or bad, its it serves a purpose or not. The more a stain on the mirror alters your reflection, the more you bond with the stain as it was part of you.
This is what makes change hard. The one thing we dont change, its the one thing setting the rules for everything else.
So I did a personality test and Im an ENFJ, or “Extraverted with Intuition, Feeling and Judging”, according to this test http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
Teacher, according to http://keirsey.com/4temps/teacher.asp
Extraodinary people skills, http://www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com/ENFJ-personality.html
I dont find anything about being an artist, rockstar or heroic world savior. Bummer.
I do see this raw infinite potential in everyone, and I also see it in myself. I can see why after years of pushing other people I decided to push myself, becoming the thing instead of pushing others to get there. Teaching by example vs teaching by control.
Its easier to prove some points when there is real evidence instead of possibilities.
So whats your personality type?
Aynd Rand is Paris Hilton.
Aynd´s premise: ME as a castle, everything has value if it matters to ME, love is to be earned, weaks dont deserve compassion, etc, aint that Paris Hilton speaking?
Its a very feminine point of view. Take from the losers, take from the winners, build your ego.
Patience and hope are good when you are doing hard work, and anxious for seeing results.
Patience and hope when you are just waiting for stuff to happen, not so good.
“Free market” can only exist when everyone has the capital to play the game.
We are not living in a free market but in a feudal camp: we work for the masters, exchange our lifes for a few chips, then spend them all at their stores.
Like playing a monopoly game where one player starts with all the money, and all the other players start with debt.
You can’t build a profitable lemonade business when your competition owns the water.
Theres no free market when no one is free.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world there is no goodness, only shadows of evil.
That there is no right and wrong, only points of view.
That love is weakness and sex is degradation.
That sin is fun, and virtue is boring.
That being smart aint good for you.
That you have to lie, that you have to fit in and shut up.
That being unhappy is normal.
That its ok to take from others.
That for you to win everyone else has to lose, that you have to lose for everybody to win.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world god doesnt exist.
Doing what you want in your “spare time” is like saying:
“Oh I get get to do what I want, when Im not sucking dick”
Makes you dream about not being at your job, dream about about vacations, weekends. Makes the non-job windows feel like “freedom” instead of “life”, because “life” is already busy with being a burden
Makes you spend 80% of your life wanting to be doing something else and somewhere else.
Then when you get to that “spare” portion of your life, your energy is exhausted, you have been worked out, you cant compete.
Coaching is gay.
This whole coaching culture profits by digging further into fear and excuses, finding dark areas and turning them into the light, which would be awesome, but theres this focus, this whole approach about measuring risks, going deep into your crap, making lists of pros, cons and possible regrets. Its a lot of work.
A whole business to make you feel safe about the idea of taking risks.
But risk aint safe. You shouldnt want to feel safe, you should want to feel un-safe.
I can barely type “fear, regrets, excuses” without feeling disgust. Yet these guys talk all day about them. Yeah right.
Getting impulse from the “oh when I die I will wish I had done that!” is beta.
Im not saying the concept is wrong, Im saying the approach is.
When you wake up in the morning you dont need to consider “when I die, will I regret not doing this?” when going to the bathroom, having breakfast and checking email.
So why should it be more strange to be around women and people, build a successful business, conquer the world, and be truly happy with your life.
It shouldnt, its not.
If you focus on the problem it creates a bond with the problem, thinking oh why you are doing the wrong things in the wrong place gets you more attached to them.
So its the prison vs the uncertainty, and uncertainty is scary, or you would have left already.
Focus on whats outside, and what are you going to do outside, put your mind on it and bound to it, so it pulls you out.
Just because you are prone to give the best of you to other people it doesnt mean you are destined to take their crap.
Get stronger boundaries, then love them all freely.