Until you break your programming you have no real way to know if your goodness and aims are programming or something deeper. You have to really break yourself and go “bad” and do out of your comfort zone.
But the stuff to keep checking continually is if what you are doing, the person you are becoming, is stabilizing towards happy or unhappy, if you are getting bitter or sweeter.
The people who decide to become evil also become bitter. Its not just that they resign moral values but that they resign feeling good. So resign to the morals and stuff and limits and impositions and logics that were planted on you and constitute “good” now, and dive into darkness and chaos and pain.
But do it because you aim for higher happiness. Not because you gave up on it.
Go aggressively and frontally into the unknown, and use bitter / sweeter to guide yourself while in the dark. If you find yourself becoming bitter, aim upper.
You will methaphorically die and come back from the other side with a stronger aim, phoenix esque.
Some people are on top some people are at the bottom. A lot of the people at the top are evil and a lot of the people at the bottom are good. This becomes another generalization:
Top = evil
Bottom = good
So eventually when the good people at the bottom decide to go to the top, they choose to become evil, as in “sell your soul for some results”
Which is as stupid as it can get. I care a lot about the passage from being at the bottom to being at the top and keeping all your goodness and more, not just because its my path but because I see a lot of people stuck and spinning in circles and bouncing walls, the same walls I bounced or so.
Timothy* posted this video on the comments and it blew me away.
A woman slaps a man, then the man slaps her back. As soon as he does, a horde of men come to the rescue and kick him to the floor, while the lady, who was the initial agressor, walks away all proud.
So can you imagine that scenario reversed? Would a horde of women go kick a woman after she slaps the man who just slapped her? nope.
We are animals, we are stupid, we have hormones, we are men and women, men want to protect women, women want to protect themselves, and protect their kids. Hard to fight any of that.
You gotta be kidding if you think men have the same sympathy vote power. We dont. We can, instead, call for higher ideals, side to fight a common enemy, do the right thing, etc. We can unite for goals, we can unite to protect women and children, but we just dont unite as strongly when a man screams “help”.
And specially we dont when there´s a woman to protect, and the guy screaming “help” is portrayed as the wronger.
“No offense, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna limit the group blog to people who acknowledge that feminism is a valuable movement, even if they disagree.”
Feminism is valuable in the sense that it grants SOCIAL RIGHTS to people. Feminism is also destructive in the way its depriving of social rights and shaming and committing the same crimes its supposed to correct.
“Are you… seriously trying to argue that the time period which believed that if women went to school they would become infertile half-men (i.e. before women could vote) WASN’T sexist? Um, wow. Good luck with that.”
It was VERY sexist, very biased, very racist, very square minded, very classist, very stupid. Guess what, more or less like now, just balanced differently. When you go back and see all the injusticies done to women, there were parallel injusticies done to men. When you check the big picture of the men / women dynamics, you´ll find how everyone is always screwed up, and that a lot of the points the MRA guys make are valid.
So, I look back and look now and see the injusticies, I feel sympathy and want to help and make things fair for everyone. Feminism, however, cares about “everyone but men”, thus, making it fair to women without caring about men, only makes things even less fair to men, and thats the sole point of MRA.
Its such a simple thing really.
Stuff as simple as Feminism looking at third world poor countries and caring about “women and children”, what about men?
Or some figures saying that the real victims of war are “women and children”, what about men?
Or this “all soldiers are rapists”, really? so if some country messes with us and I go fight to defend your life, that makes me a rapist? fuck you?
If theres war with Canada and your boyfriends gets recruited (forced into the army against his will) but he does go to fight, is he a rapist now?
Whenever Feminism says stuff about men, just figure, for a moment, that they are talking about black people.
Imagine every time a woman kicks somebody balls on tv, picture thats a white man kicking a black man´s balls. Picture a white man kicking a woman´s clit. Not good, right?
Imagine a political movement looking at Africa and the poverty and wars and saying, hey people we really care about you: the real victims of this are the white people living there, lets get them weapons”
This is so obvious, the bias is so mean, so apparent, and hiding on plain sight. The only explanation of why feminists swallow this is they are just demonizing a whole gender and playing the victim role to the bottom. Its like they are enthranced by a religious spell.
Honey, men are capable of love, justice, hard work, invention, humor, warm feelings, fatherhood, brotherhood, loverhood, etc.
Every time I see a movement like Feminism finding injustices I go “YES”, but then when they come up with theories and dogmas and implementations, I go “WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY THINKING”
Its so evil, it has to be on purpose. That, or people is really, really stupid.
EDIT:
MRA is very important. I doubt anybody will listen though. We are not wired to care about whiny grown up men, we expect men to overcome and solve and save the world or die trying.
MRA is like the firemen, with the water and yellow helmets and pumping machines, crying scared that there is a fire in the building. Why dont YOU fix the issue? thats what everybody is expecting. Screaming “help” is what girls and childs do. You are the firemen. We cant help you. You help us.
Men’s drive is about going where no one has been and finding a treasure.
Womens drive is about protecting the treasure and keeping it healty.
The ovule and the sperm.
Men formulate theories and stuff and solve the problem of how to get there.
Women formulate theories and stuff to solve the problem of how to attract and keep the quality stuff.
If we were all men no one would be keeping the civilization.
If we were all women “civilization” would be something with “quotes”.
My ideal society is a game where everybody gets the same initial money & opportunities but no one has a limit on how far he/she can get other than the self imposed.
In my ideal society the bank cant print fake money.
And there are no country borders.
And laws / police are set in a way no player can exploit another player.
And meritocracy works.
And criminals go to jail / and get retrained.
And people in power cares about solving problems, rather than getting more power.
If you want an extra marshmallow, and the way to get it is not to eat your current marshmallow, self denial works.
If you dont want an extra marshmallow, or eating your current marshmallow doesnt get in the way, self denial is absurd.
Then Im not sure these kids understand their choice. I think most of them are just reacting to what they were told not to do. I think they fight eating the marshmallow because they were given instructions, not because they want the extra marshmallow that might come.
Then, not doing what you are told to is a path to success. Just because most people will tell you to stay quiet and dont do stupid, “keep you head low, boy”
So, restraining and self control are useful, but not on their own. Its the intelligence to shuffle between moving and not moving, acting on impulses while controlling other impulses, and understanding the repercussions and being able to pick a choice and stay on the path using your own will, what matters. That´s something that should be trained.
Every word you say invokes a meaning, pulls a context, nurtures a frame.
Saying “nice” puts you in the nice frame, “problem” makes you the problem, “happy” pulls the happy, “struggle” makes you struggle. Calling somebody a “loser” puts the “loser” word in your mouth, saying “sorry” makes you a sorry person, saying something is “delicious” makes you part of the delicious reality.
You might think you are talking about external subjects, but you are always the subject, you are the one carrying the meaning, the one choosing to perceive, to connect the dots, the one elaborating, pouring it out.
Every time you pronounce a word, you trigger a process that gives the world a piece of you, and asks the world to give you back that same thing.
Just like when a kid says “milk” and he gets it.
Everything you say is your signature, every word is your epitaph.
Every door you open leads to another door. Every step you take makes every subsequent step easier.
I remember a segment from that “endless story” book. The boy was lost in a door maze. Every time he opened a door, it led to another room with even more doors. He could be lost forever there. So after a while he didnt open doors at random, but he would look for small signs, scratches, symbols, details, and pick the door that, in his mind, looked more like an exit. The next room had a door that resembled the one he had just opened, but exaggerated, and the next room, one even more obvious. After seven or so iterations, he got out.
My point here is everything you do, every opportunity you take, leads to more opportunities of the same kind. Whatever you do, it grants you permission to do more of the same, and the skill to do it better. This, in business, in relationships, in life, just means whatever you do, grants you will do more of it, and the more you do it, the more naturally it will happen. So this has to be your decision.
If you, instead of taking random opportunities as they come, take the chances you need to move forward, if you decide the door you want and cross it, the next similar door will be awaiting ready, and an even more ready new door after that.
If you decide a path instead of letting the world decide it for you, if you take, right now, that small step out of the maze in a focused, conscious, desired direction, and then do it once and again, you are already out.
Just go. All of the doors are already open. The key for each door is the door that precedes it. The first door in the sequence is the one in front of you.
Instead of romanticizing about struggle, walk. Pick your direction. Go.
I have been tracking coaches, gurus, self improving models. Theres a common denominator, in that they spend way too much time excited about resistance, fear, paralysis. What are your resistances? where are your fears? why are you not doing what you want? If you died tomorrow, what would be your legacy?
It should be all about win.
By preaching pain, you induce pain. By talking about fear and paralysis, you experience fear and paralysis. If you go deep about the reasons you are not doing what you want, you make those obstacles the subject.
The revealing part is when people cant talk in detail about certain subjects, but they can scream, fight, retreat and feel offended about them. Too prone to attack, too prone to peak, to take sides, to invest their emotions, to take the focus away from the subject, and focus on how they feel about it.
You know you have found a sleeper, a believer, a follower: someone going through the motions, going with the flow, without knowing where, nor why.
Or maybe you have found a source, a manipulator, a dark leader: the one projecting the shadow.
Follow the rules, break a couple, that’s the recipe for genius.
If you follow all of the rules, you blend in, become invisible.
If you break all the rules you become noise.
But if you learn most of the rules of a game, follow them to perfection, and blatantly break a couple, theres enough mix of belonging and rebellion, enough for people to care.
The trick to make this work: instead of just “breaking” rules, replace the less important aspects of your game, with the most distinctive aspects of a different game.
Opinions is all we are. Whenever the world interacts with you and wherever your energy goes and pours, thats your opinion talking.
We either have our opinions dance along with the big ones, or we mold our own. We either get our opinions from facts ( chocolate is darker than vanilla), preferences ( chocolate is better than vanilla) , experience (chocolate is dirty), or from others (wonka & the chocolate stories).
It doesnt matter, no opinion is ever right, which doesnt matter either, because opinions are abundant.
We see reality through a million broken mirrors, we “are” a million broken mirrors, and none has the whole picture. Every opinion is valuable, helpful, cheap, and wrong, and thats good.
So, this being “entitled” to an opinion is a pretense to make our opinion right, just because its ours – when most of the time its not even ours-. Being untitled to have an opinion isolates you from reality, makes you poor.
Every entitled opinion is unreasonable. Every entitled opinion refuses change, growth. Every entitled opinion is an unmovable stone, thus hides a secret, thus its a band aid for the hurt.
What is the magnetic field? I asked when I was a teenager.
Do thoughts have magnetic fields? can we measure the energy of a thought?
Since force fields affect every particle under their domain, are we altering everything around us just by being here, being what we are?
Since fields diminish with the distance but never disappear, can we say our projection reaches the infinite? are we all filling the whole universe with ourselves? is the whole universe being projected on us?
Can we say my whole body is under your influence, just because you are in the room? how can we measure this influence if we travel to different parts of the globe?
Is every particle in the universe aware of us? if I move my hand without touching the board, is the magnetic field of the board aware of it?
Is this measurable?
I can say these were hard questions for a teacher who is trying to explain electrons and magnetic forces and only cares about doing his job, and wants his students to memorize and pass the course. I was told I would find my answers later on, and I did, but not in the academy.
There cannot be answers when asking questions makes you look bad.
Everyone has a bias. The bigger and more evident it is to everyone else outside, the more invisible it is for anyone inside.
The bigger an issue, the more you overlook it. The more something influences every action, the more you take it for granted.
It doesnt matter if the issue is good or bad, its it serves a purpose or not. The more a stain on the mirror alters your reflection, the more you bond with the stain as it was part of you.
This is what makes change hard. The one thing we dont change, its the one thing setting the rules for everything else.
no mask -> no need to drop the mask -> no burden -> always being real -> almost everyone is safe to be 100% yourself -> true abundance -> true deep connections
Aynd´s premise: ME as a castle, everything has value if it matters to ME, love is to be earned, weaks dont deserve compassion, etc, aint that Paris Hilton speaking?
Its a very feminine point of view. Take from the losers, take from the winners, build your ego.
My name is Yohami.
Im a Singer/Songwriter.
Im on my way to have fun. 
