30 Apr 2012, Posted by yohami in game, 2 Comments

Video of the day: Aloofness

Everything you wanted to know about aloofness but were afraid to meow.

Video thanks to Koanic.

17 Apr 2012, Posted by yohami in game, 0 Comments

Video of the day – three simple rules.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY

Video thanks to Good Luck Chuck.

31 Mar 2012, Posted by yohami in game, inner game, reader mail, 16 Comments

Reader mail: How should I respond to a girl staring directly into my eyes?

HC asks me about eye contact:

———————————————————————————————————————————

How should I respond to a girl staring directly into my eyes?

How should I respond to strangers?

———————————————————————————————————————————

First a frame change:

“they are trying to test my alpha-ness.”

It’s not a test.

It’s a taste.

She is “wondering” what’s your alphaness. She’s curious. She wants to find out more. If you frame it as a “test” then you’ll want to “perform and score”, like she’s your judge, placing her and her interests above of yours, and by doing so, your alphaness will be low, so her curiosity won’t be satiated, and your imaginary test will fail.

So she is staring at you with status curiosity, she’s tasting you. What should you do?

Look back at her with sexual curiosity. Taste her.

Try to figure just by looking, how ready is she to go fuck with you. Look for fertility cues, look at her facial expression. Measure if she would be a pleasant fuck, picture yourself with her. Is she a moaner? what’s her favorite position? is she good at it? what’s her number? would you do it in an elevator with her? How compatible are you? vibe her, smell her, like she’s a sexual flower.

She’ll know when you’re doing that. You pinged her back.

She´ll blush and look away, then look at you again, or she´ll keep staring at you with anticipation: Go and say hi.

Or she will keep an analytical stare and then break it – like she wants to be worked for: Hold it. She´ll come when you’re with another girl.

Or she will be disinterested, or you will, in which case, it doesnt matter.

But if you liked her and you’re curious, go and say hi, find out if she’s cool.

As simple as that.

23 Feb 2012, Posted by yohami in game, thoughts, 15 Comments

Looks matter, but looks is not what gets you laid.

Looks matter, but looks is not what gets you laid. Even if you´re stunning the girl is gonna put you through tests. I see the order of importance as:

Game (personality, masculinity, drive, demeanor, charm, dominance)
Social proof (the throne other people puts you in)
Assets (stuff you own and display)
Looks (body, clothes)

Some of these are interchangeable and every bulletpoint influences the rest.

Say. Your looks say a lot about the rest of these items. If you´re fat and smell silly it says a lot about your game, social proof etc. Looks are the presentation card, and they convey the rest of the traits. So in a way, looks are “everything”. But they are everything because of what they say about you.

Assets. The girls you attract with assets are not the good kind. But again, assets can produce attraction as they also convey personality traits, game, etc. It´s different if you own a motorcycle or if you own a family motorhome or a corvette. What you own says stuff about you, what kind of person you are, what´s your position in the hierarchy, what´s your tribe.

Social proof. This is the vital external thing. Because girls go with the popular, center of the social circle guy, and in society is where your dominance is measured. This is what conveys safety. Girls are herd animals – there´s nothing more attractive than the center of the herd. Social proof or lack of thereof says important stuff about you.

And all this stuff that says stuff about you is going to be used to measure you. Measure what?

Game. At the end this is what counts, because when its you and her alone, all the other stuff has to be true reflection of who you really are, and it has to show in your interpersonal interactions. If there´s dissonance you´re up for a long, uphill and losing battle. Everything else emanates from here.

In short looks, assets, social proof are measurable things that interconnect with each other, and are all reflection of your Game. And your Game itself is just another reflection of the “true” you, which in this context is just your genes, since this is a breeding / reproductive game.

06 Dec 2011, Posted by yohami in game, politics, 13 Comments

Alpha and Omega are actually very close

Alpha and Omega are actually very close.

Alpha runs society from the top – is immune to the rules because, mostly, he is the rule. Omega operates outside of society, so, in a way, he´s also immune to the rules and micromanages his own universe. Both are ruthless, as in, I dont care about you, I do my own thing.

The beta is whats in between, the guy who follows the rules and wants to please his superiors.

Omega doesnt give a fuck. He usually hates the game.
Alpha doesnt give a fuck. He usually loves the game.

There are a lot of times when this omega comes from nowhere and steals the pot. No one saw him coming. A lot of breakthoughs have happened that way, driven by a sole individual who had a vision and somehow managed to score it big.

Alphas have the risk of becoming self indulgent when in power. The stuff is given easily to them. Become dumb dinosaurs. Think of GOP.

Omegas have the risk of becoming too excentric and mentally-fucked once they get the power to realize their vision. Think of Michael Jackson.

Beta is the realm of mediocrity / supportive roles. Each of those guys at the top needs an army of very responsible men fixing their mistakes and keeping the machine running. Betas become one with a cause that is not their own, they choose to belong and not to lead.

All are needed, mind you.

27 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in conversations, game, inner game, 21 Comments

WHY does there need to be one voice that rises above the pack? Aloof vs Dominant

GH, from the comments:

WHY does there need to be one voice that rises above the pack? Who cares? Why do you want to be that voice? What difference does it make? Why do you NEED others to acknowledge you as the voice that rises above? You see, any which way you spin it, no matter how hard you deny it and engage in cognitive dissonance, you are seeking a reaction from others. You WANT them to acknowledge your power and dominance. You WANT them to do something. If you did not, you would not *tell them what to do*. You would just laugh and be indifferent if they did what you wanted or not.

This sounds like preaching aloofness. As in, “wanting specific responses from people is bad” or something. Well. Expecting reactions from people is good.

There are times when you´ll be on a pack. There are times when you will develop relationships. You´ll team up. You´ll get a job, form a band, become regular friends with people, become somebody else´s father, son, etc. You get it. Human relationships. In short, you will want stuff from them, and they will want stuff from you. There will be boundaries to be negotiated, promises and debts to be kept. There will be stuff you care about, stuff that hurts you, stuff that you want, and stuff you dont. Whenever you insert the spectrum of desires, aims, wishes, pains, strings, etc humanity, you insert power dynamics. This is unavoidable.

Aloofness is great to avoid power dynamics – and avoid relationships too. But since aloofness doesnt get involved in the power dynamics, it cant win them either: it cant give you what you want. What do you want?

To get what you want, you have to ask.

How are you going to ask? check my previous post http://yohami.com/blog/2011/11/25/i-have-a-party-on-friday-how-do-i-tell-you-about-it-more-about-shades-of-gray-in-dominance/

* * *

Who would you hire?

Aloof: Oh Im looking for a  job, right now just browsing different companies, but this one looks nice!

Dominant: I love this company. I want to work here.

Who would you follow?

Aloof: The feminazis are coming… I´ll go check with the binoculars, if anyone wants to come with me, cool.

Dominant: We have to attack, but first, we need to secure the base. Smith, put the bombs. James, load the weapons. The rest, come with me and lets blow their fucking bunker.

Who would you pay?

Aloof: That money you owe me…  its all chill bro.

Dominant:  Well, I do need you to pay me, today.  I´ll drop by your house at 5pm.

Who would you work all night for?

Aloof: Well its getting late, see what you can get done….

Dominant:  No, the deadline was yesterday. I need this done TONIGHT. And it has to be perfect. Can you make sure we nail it? Perfect, please. I´ll be here. Keep me posted.

* * *

How many times you have heard women say they want a man who knows what he wants?

Can you be aloof about what you want?  How effective is that?

So.

Aloofness is great, in the sense its a huge step forward from neediness. Aloofness is in the realm of Alpha. In the realm of abundance. In the realm of -I dont really give a fuck, I have what I need, Im just here to have a good time.- Etc. A beta cant be aloof, because beta is too busy trying to measure up to whats expected from them. Where the beta is nervous, the aloof is self amused. When someone is relaxed and truly doesnt give a fuck, they can be more honest, real, genuine, their self comes across better, and with higher value. Someone who doesnt give a fuck and doesnt really want anything from you, is someone who also wont stab you, chase you, stalk you, hurt you… its someone you can trust.

But then Dominance is a man where Aloofness is a child.

Aloofness works for all the stuff you dont give shit about. If you dont care, if you are not to get involved, if this is not worth a fight / worth of your attention, if its beneath of you, etc… then chill out, let it be, relax, enjoy yourself, dont register it.

But how about the stuff you do care about?

Without dominance, some other voice will take the lead, and things will get settled according to somebody else´s priorities, somebody else´s boundaries, somebody else´s frame. Sometimes the externally decided settlement will be good for you, most of the time though, unless someone is doing this for you, it wont. If the person taking the lead is your rival, or has opposite interests, you´ll get fucked.

Why leave this to chance?

Dominance is not the goal. Dominance is not the objective. Its not “be always dominant, dont leave anything to chance, take the lead at all costs”. Dominance is not the objective.

The objective is what you want. Your goals. The way you want stuff to be. Your vision. You realization. What makes you happy. What is it?

Then dominance is the medium to make it happen.

Dominance is the language.

Back to GH:

Why does there need to be one voice that rises above the pack?

Stronger trumps weaker. Dominant trumps submissive. The more demanding one trumps the less demanding one. Stronger frame conquers weaker frame. Put several flavors together, and you´ll see the stronger flavor masking the weaker flavors. Mix several colors and you´ll see the same. Dilute one big idea into a weak story and you get a lame story. When put in a pack, people / animals actively measure against each other, and form hierarchies, where the leads decide for the group and the group follows and is content, as long as the leadership is good. Whatever you mix, something will shine, and something will blend.

This is just how stuff works.

Your job is to understand how stuff works, and use that to be best of your ability, in order to survive, and to fully realize yourself while you are at it.

Do you want to shine, or do you want to blend? Its your call. But you better know what you´re doing.

25 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in game, inner game, 3 Comments

I have a party on friday, how do I tell you about it? more about shades of gray in dominance.

I have a party on friday, how do I tell you about it? more about shades of gray in dominance:

Submissive (supplicates, doesnt want to offend, puts the other´s frame first, seeks permission, wants to be rejection free):

- Are you busy on friday?
- Is it ok if I make a party?

Doormat (takes direction, does the work, gets the short end of the stick, rejected):

- I made the party, as you wanted. Did I invite all of your friends?
- OH…  .. .,,. ..,.  sure… you can fuck him on my bed.

Beta (compensates, feels inferior, puts the other´s frame first, assumes rejection):

- I hired three elephants and a male stripper just to see if you would come.
- Im sorry. This is not the best party ever.

Codependent (provides direction, but seeks input actively, highly sensible to rejection):

- Hey lets make a party on friday?
- Is everybody ok with this? Yes? What about the theme?

Aloof (proposes, but is unattached to the result, doesnt negotiate, is rejection-proofed):

- Party on friday!
- It would be cool if you came

Dominant (tells you what the result is, puts its frame first, exposes itself, gets little rejection because of its frontality):

- Cancel your plans, party on my house. Now.
- It´s gonna be fun. Lets go.

Controlling (sets the frame, negative picky-ness, reactive against rejection):

- The party is on friday. I´ll be pissed off if you dont come.
- Be punctual this time.

Control freak (monopolizes the chaos, while attempting to fix everything, burdens):

- Cake arrives at 8. Everybody has to dress properly, you will make sure they do, right? Bring me the salt. Do you think couple X are going to come? I shouldnt have invited them. NO! I told you the SALT!
- You RUINED it!

Bully (invades / demeans other people´s frames, doesnt bring anything, rejects and takes at the same time):

- This party is a piece of shit. You´re a piece of shit.
- You look like a fucking clown. Now blow me, bitch.

Omega (lives in the rejected spectrum of the frame, and, of course, resents it):

- Again I didnt get an invitation. I dont know if I should go. I dont know anyone there anyway.
- I hate their fucking guts.

———–

Anyway, come to my party.

23 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in game, inner game, 12 Comments

I tell people what to do.

I tell people what to do. I always expect to receive the best share. I always expect to play by my rules. I always expect to be satisfied. I always expect my boundaries to be respected. Im not afraid of confrontation, violence, aggression, or challenge. When Im in a pack of men, I expect them to play along, to follow, or to prove they are better suited than me. I give everyone a chance. But. Im always in charge, I EXPECT to be in charge. I do less questions than I do assertions. I expect to have the final word. On everything. I expect to be right, I expect to get things done my way.

And this comes with a tone, a body language, etc. Its filled with swagger, confidence, but a confident person can also be submissive or complacent or supportive. So what Im talking about here is dominance. When Im in a social situation, I OWN it. Or I expect to own it.

So. There are a thousand of shades of gray to this.

Fear and drive and running away from something and running towards something are similar in appearance. The easier one to pinpoint is the inverse archetype, the weak, the fearfully ignorant control freak:

A control freak has a self esteem void, so they to force everyone to behave in a way it doesnt produce a cognitional dissonance with their ego. A control freak NEEDS other people to play by their rules, but also NEEDS them to stick around. So controls freaks grab other people firmly, try to get a hold and hook them somehow. The control freak needs to seduce, manipulate, lie, order, force their way on others. The control freak is an omega with penis envy. The control freak NEEDS other people to play along and can be cruel and destructive. The control freak cant take the truth, cant stand their own reflection, cant take criticism, cant take attacks, the control freaks lives in ignorance, paranoid about possible plots against them, treasuring old hurts, feeding on negative energy, and feeding others with negative energy.

In contrast, the assertive / dominant alpha is like the owner of the house. You can be there and do your thing as long as what you are doing doesnt conflict with the rules of the house. You can leave if you want, but as long as you are there, you know you have to present your best self or you are going to get kicked out.

When people come to my house, I tell them “leave your shoes at the door”. Some newcomers who dont know this rule look at me with incredulity, as in “really? this is awkward”. I point my finger and say “there, then you can come in”, then walk away. They are welcome, but this is mine.

When I play in my band I tell each one which part to play. I tell them how the songs are going to change. They are welcome to play my music and to be on my band. But this is mine.

When I deal with my clients, I tell them how I am going to solve their problems. I explain whats the plan of execution, what it costs, and whats negotiable. They are free to go my way, or to go with another problem fixer.

When I deal with my workers, I tell them what to do, period.

When I deal with my students, I tell them what to do.

When I was having random hookups, I would tell these girls what to do. Give me a kiss. Come home. Undress.

When I deal with my girlfriend, I tell her what to do.

When I deal with my friends, I tell them what to do.

When I greet people, I nod upwards. When I talk to people, I look them in the eyes. When I say what I want, I approve, I reject, I command.

And you know what? people come to me so I can tell them what to do. I dont chase them around.

Because of my character and upbringing, this “what to do” is always aimed to do things “good”, I figure how things work, what do people want, I do a big chunk of listening and taking-it-in BEFORE deciding what to do about it. I figure out the situation and when I set things to be in my way, I aim for something where everybody wins. Starting of myself, but far reaching. This generosity is not “needed”, it just happens to be there. Dominance can express itself without generosity and it would still be effective. Im not being “generous” so others do things my way. Im not “paying” nor “compensating” nor I think that my role is to be the support for other people. When Im generous, it means thats my way. That I envision something where everyone is fulfilled. And thats my way too. If you plan to be around me, you better do things right.

Its not about “forcing, trying to compel, imposing” my way on others. I own my way.

And I care about whats mine. Im not holding my particular way of doing things because of some random moody thing. This is a conscious choice, and Im betting my life on doing things my way, and I carry it with total responsibility. I own it. And I fucking love it. Its about territory. My way surrounds me.

And, If you plan to challenge me, you better be more prepared and adept to take on the lead that I am, fucker. If you are, then you bet Im going to learn all of I can from you. And I will continue to challenge you. Until I beat you. And its going to be so much fun. And Im going to respect you a huge lot, and Im going to be generous with my knowledge, so you can grow too. Boy do I enjoy competition.

Anyway.

Others come, and go, in and out from my way of doing things, because they want to.

Whatever the case, Im always in charge.

23 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in game, personal, 21 Comments

David DeAngelo is doing it wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iixfj7XmOzE

David DeAngelo is doing it wrong.

I used to love this guy. I found his cocky-funny tips on the side of OK Cupid ages ago, and eventually I purchased all of his material. He lost me after reading his sex related stuff, with the “cuddle in bed but dont make a move so she cant reject you” – What? wrong frame. I moved on but I kept recommending him and his material for what its worth.

But WHAT THE FUCK are these vows.

Whatever floats your boat, bro. But this is a boat I wouldnt touch with a stick.

07 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in game, 10 Comments

Dominance comes from authority. Its not the ability to do things right, but the determination to make them “your way”

Dominance comes from authority. Its not the ability to do things right, but the determination to make them “your way” and take over the board.

There are a lot of experts and masters everywhere who use their skills to please other people. Zero dominance. A lot of very savy guys who excel at something but shy away when its their turn to shine.

Dominance is a behavioral trait. Its unrelated to skill. But skill can propel your dominance.

05 Nov 2011, Posted by yohami in game, inner game, politics, 12 Comments

For a guy to become Alpha, he has to look for a pack of dogs / an area of interest where he can capitalize his attributes and develop Alpha.

For a guy to become Alpha, he has to look for a pack of dogs / an area of interest where he can capitalize his attributes and develop Alpha.

In other words, maximize his internal abilities, maximize his social dominance, and minimize his weakness.

In other words, improve himself. A lot. And get happier.

There are so many areas of interest and so many different stuff people can do, so many different packs of dogs. The attributes required to belong to a pack, and therefore to be the Alpha of one pack are different to the attributes needed to be Alpha in another pack. At the end, however, there´s a constant, minimal set of traits that identify the Alpha:

The stronger dude on the group, the more adept, the one others look up to, the one who capitalizes the resources, the one needed, the one confident, the one the others want to challenge, the leader, the cocky, the self reassured, the one having the most fun while carrying most of the responsibility, the one who sets the rules, the owner, the master, the boss, the legend, the big cock, the one.

But being the king of the wrong pack will make you miserable. And being a pawn on the right pack will fulfill you. So the pack, which determines your base identity, is the first choice. Having the balls to quit when you have to quit and the strength to grab and choose and to stand for your choices and belong where you have to belong, is the first step towards Alpha.

Every dude out there owes that to himself. To find a place where he fits, to find a place where he can grow, and then grow to his max potential and then some and change things forever in the most epic way possible. Most of us were born with the desire, the pain, and the drive, to climb that ladder and smash it. Of course not “everyone” can do it. Its hard work. But thats how big rewards come in life. There´s no easy way to the big pot.

Alpha is the reserved chair for the best. You can have all the big rewards when you are the best. In your specific dog pack.

23 Oct 2011, Posted by yohami in game, politics, thoughts, 8 Comments

The jerk/asshole wins the pot.

Put Robbie Williams to compete against the Russel Crowe from Gladiator.

If you put the assertive/bold/manly and the jerk/nasty/darktriads to compete for the same women, the darktriads gets more women. But not only gets more women, he gets more public acceptance.

Why? I’d say it speaks about something else. The guy who is all the things manly but is also a GOOD man, comes across as righteous, living by a code, doing things right and balanced. He is by comparison less dangerous, more stiff than the dark triads. He also calls for direct comparison and echoes against the crowd, who can relate and idolize, but who wants to follow his same steps?

What people, in general, dream about, is to be able to indulge their very own whims and exploit their surroundings. People dream about letting their own wild side out. Dream about all the stuff they could get if there were no morals or supervision. They dont dream about managing their own wild-side and trascending and doing hard work. In short, the darktriads guy resonates with the crowd better.

You see that all the time in show business. The icons out there, you expect them to go crazy with drugs and sex and do all kind of antisocial stuff. They get to do what you cant. In comparison, the rightful ones are boring. Like. Boooooring. You´ll also see the righteous ones sacrificed and dead by the end of the story. And the crowd likes the crucifixion. After the righteous one is gone, the party can continue.

So, the strong/manly/decent guy trumps over the nice chump, but the jerk/asshole still wins the pot.

22 Oct 2011, Posted by yohami in conversations, game, 13 Comments

So, PUA has defined Alpha as “what attracts women”

Just a ramble I left at Rollo´s blog.

*****

So, PUA has defined Alpha as “what attracts women”. Good. Alpha does attract women. You can break down every action and every detail and make a comprehensive list about Alpha, and then you can go and emulate it piece by piece and get similar, if not same results. Good? not arguing about that.

What Im saying is this:

Defining Alpha purely from a point of view of its results and effects, is putting it harder for yourself to reach the Alpha state.

What Alpha state? well, a state or a being or whatever is out of your current handle of things, consider this:

Mind has frames. What is a frame? a logical space where you operate. An identity. A narrative that tells your story. A mood. What you consider the boundaries of your reality. Your ego. Your beliefs and projections. Your fears. A set of premises. The foundation of yourself. Your limits. Cool? so, whatever you are, your current “frame” distorts whatever you perceive, and distorts whatever you act on, and pampers it with your frame. The hows and whys are subject for another debate.

Lets just agree for now on that the mind has frames / states.

What Im saying is that Alpha, Beta, Omega and anything in between are frames.

You project your frame out there, and the world returns you the same you´re projecting. Cause and effect. Most of the time, you are the cause. In whatever case, the stronger frame dominates and conquers the weaker frame. When reality sets its frame on you, you´re its bitch. When your frame dominates reality, reality is your bitch.

Alpha > Beta > Omega. If you put these frames to fight each other, the more dominant wins, right? So Alpha projects its dominance over the other frames, and the other frames go into reactive mode, reacting to Alpha´s proposition, and concede Alpha its power. And so on.

So. What is the problem of defining Alpha as “what attracts women”? that, duh, attracting women is like 50% of the deal.

But moreso, if you start recopilating and emulating what Alpha does, with your current (beta or whatever frame), you´re just a beta doing tricks. And. IT WILL SHOW. Chances are you will just be jumping through hoops you set for yourself, and then whipping your own ass when you fail, and pumping your self esteem when you succeed. In other words, you will be punishing and rewarding yourself.

Guess who punishes and rewards himself? not Alpha. Who tries so hard? not Alpha.

Is self punishing and self rewarding attractive? nope! trying hard attractive? nope!

So whats attractive? Loving yourself unconditionally. Being bold and assertive and getting your shit done. While being comfortable in your own skin.

Who does that? eh. Only Alpha can. And its a deluded thing for sure. It is also attractive as hell.

Can you break that down, being your own thing, doing your own thing, the whole Alpha archetype, the whole book, while at the same time expressing totally what you are, without masks or tricks, being REAL… by just doing some techniques, and because you want the results from a different frame than the frame you have? Nope.

Long story short, you can do some and get some, but there wont be enough energy to sustain it.

You cant do the whole thing. Your energy will run out. The building will be too expensive to maintain. When you get to the point most of the stuff you do is off-frame, when you start getting the results of the frame you are emulating… you´ll realize the law of diminishing returns has already hit. The stuff you get… you paid so much already, and it doesnt even start to fill the gap you´re creating on yourself by being off-frame. You wanted love, sex, admiration, dominance, whatever? you might get a tiny bit of it, but in contrast of what you are paying for it, its a fucking broken deal. Soul sucking experience. The Alpha is getting it EASY, got it? All the results are GIVEN to him. All the wonders he gets are a NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF HE BEING THERE. How unfair! the asshole doesnt even try! His frame just wins! The world is his! How can you fake the world is yours? is that a technique?

So whats the solution?

First to the problem, again:

Defining alpha by its effects is counterproductive to getting there: because the one who wants to get there, the current (beta) frame, is the one who has to be sacrificed.

A curve:

Defining success by the money only makes you want the money more, and makes you forget about all the mechanics that are needed to achieve success. And, you only want all that money because you are poor. And you want the validation from the money. Because you are poor. So you ARE poor, right? Thats your identity and your frame. Thats why you CARE about money. Do rich people care about money as much as you? you probably care a lot more. Your frame probably doesnt even understand what is “being” rich, because its too busy worrying about “not having money”.

And the point is that without understanding what is to be successful, all the stuff that has to happen, the frame where it operates, etc, including the hard hard work… without understanding all of that, whats the point? you want money. Because you are poor. And always will be. Unless the poor in you dies. Unless your identity is gone.

So. The Alpha frame.

Alpha is at the top of the social chain. Alpha has abundance of everything. But Alpha is also responsible for everything, starting from himself. Alpha doesnt need anyone. But people look up to Alpha and deposit their attention on him. Alpha is the first to eat until he is satiated, and also the first to stand alert when enemies come. Alpha sets the rules. But Alpha is also responsible when things go bad. People will always, always, always, be testing Alpha to see if he is the real deal. But Alpha doesnt really care. Alpha is Alpha. Alpha is the master. When you challenge Alpha, he looks down at you like you are a child. Alpha is rich to the bone. If everything fails, at least you still have him and if he dies, its like your whole country has died. Alpha is the rule for every other man to follow. Alpha is a brute force, a brute arrow, that doesnt even try, that doesnt even work hard, because reality is his frame to bend and his bitch, and reality likes being his bitch, because he is Alpha to the core, and whats left for him is just to do his thing, amuse and enjoy himself and reach his own personal goals, which happen to transform everyone down the ladder, be himself, and rule the fucking world like it was designed to spin around him.

And every behavior that exudes from this abundance, confidence, detachment, grandiosity, bold projection, self delusion, is extremely attractive to women.

Even the negative aspects of it.

But women are also attracted to other things, example, not Alpha men. Women like drama and the only drama Alpha can generate, is to not reprocicate affection because he is busy with his abundance. Women like security and safety, and a lot of the time Alpha is not available or not around, because he is busy with his own life. So, women have room for other frames. Women are extremely attracted to Alphas, but women are not Alphas and cannot live in the frame (women´s base frame is about attachments). The Beta frame is closer to women´s, and women can relate better to it, and are attracted to it, just not as much.

So what´s the problem with defining Alpha by its effects? The problem is that you are looking indirectly and wanting, envying, the effects of the frame instead of wanting the frame directly. Like wanting the shadow of the thing instead of the thing.

But the Alpha frame doesnt care about what its effects are. The Alpha shadow is enormous but thats not what Alpha cares about. Alpha is just content with being a God and getting his way.

So from the moment one, the moment you want to be like a God so you can have power, you are wanting that because you feel powerless. And since you feel powerless, you cant feel like a God, you cant incarnate the frame, so you cant get the results, and anything you do and get will fall short and be incomplete.

But whatever. Im repeating myself.

Defining the frame by its external effects is misguiding to get there. If you want to get there, better understand what the frame is.

There are traits, behaviors, that are Alpha. The more traits and behaviors you have in yourself for good, the closer the frame is. The more you act and respond from an Alpha frame, the closer it gets. The trick, put it simply, is to drop whatever you are now. Including all your dreams and aspirations, the whole frame. A total self death. Put that down. Then create a new frame, the best Alpha frame you can and start living again from it. And you will have to repeat that fenix´s burn-and-raise dance quite a few times.

So. “Becoming” the frame rather than “procuring to obtain the results from a frame different than your own”. Become step by step. Understand your limits, fears, aspirations, crush all of that, then gain step by step, one trait at a time.

Detachment? check. Burn your house if you have to.
Sexual boldness? check. Go sex clubs if you have to.
Free spirit? check. Travel for a year or two.
Confidence? check. Get experience. Do everything enough times until its done.
Love your life? check. Quit your job if you have to.
Risk taker? check. Do really risky stuff. Until you love it.
Abundance frame? check.
Check check check. x1000.

Etc. Game as a lot of great transcriptions and stuff of verbal game and stuff. Tricks. All of that is useful. If you use that as a roadmap. Like. OK do I have problems doing this? what is the problem? then crush the problem. Until you are totally fine doing what you are doing, like its your first nature.

What is the difference between what Im saying and just honing “skills”? that Im talking about frame and identity. Im saying, transform yourself. Rather than increase yourself with skills. Im saying, smash your frame and grab the Alpha frame. Rather than “improve your masks so you can get the results from the pros”

Any body trainer knows what Im talking about, I guess.

The emphasis of guys on “getting abs”, when they should really care about whole body training, diet etc. “Oh but I dont want to do diet and train four times a week, I just want the abs”. Yeah, good luck with that.

So, if you grab the Alpha frame and move towards it, doing the skillset (Game, approaching, dominance, teasing, frame control, self amusement, etc), that stuff increases your energy rather than decreasing your energy – because what you are doing clicks with your frame and is synced to your reality.

I remember when I was learning this stuff. I was supposed to feel abundance frame and be cocky and confident… but every day reality told me otherwise. I didnt like my job nor my social circle and had a lot of external stuff putting me down. Feeling cocky was a struggle. So, I quit my job, and positioned myself where I could love my life: oh good. Now I dont have to FAKE this part. I can take something else in. Next trait please.

The easiest way to get the results of Alpha is being it. Not just “doing it” or worse “faking it”. The easiest way to get the Alpha effects is to be Alpha. Do you want everyone look at you like you are the ultimate shit? be the ultimate shit. What is the ultimate shit in your own mind? become that. Want every girl around to to be so so so so fucking attracted to you they talk about you in their sleep? then be fucking attractive. Be it.

But the effects are that. Effects.

You can measure Alpha by its effects. Feedback and measuring and seeing how the world responds to you and achieving, its all part of the road. But, again, defining Alpha by its effects only, is counterproductive if you want to get there, as it would be counterproductive to define that “acting” is “what makes the public applause”.  By focusing on the effects only, your goals will be pampered by your current frame, and the stuff you will do will get you somewhere else.

The guy in that video is Alpha. And he is not doing what he is doing because he wants effects (or he would be reactive, which he isnt), but the effects are there because of who he is. If you try to get to where the guy is, by caring about the effects, you´ll get somewhere else, somewhere between fake and wannabe and tryhard. Maybe. And if you attract someone, they will also be fake wannabe and tryhards, and as off-frame as you are. Maybe. Maybe.

20 Oct 2011, Posted by yohami in game, 6 Comments

If intelligence gives you street smarts and swagger, its fine.

If intelligence gives you street smarts and swagger, its fine.

If intelligence makes you solve common problems faster and gives you confidence, and an advantage over other men, its fine.

If intelligence makes you create powerful stuff that gives you social recognition, its fine.

If intelligence makes you practical and determined and hard to be fooled, its fine.

If intelligence gives you social power, its fine.

If intelligence makes you money, its fine.

If intelligence makes you funny, its fine.

If intelligence makes you cultured and personable, its fine.

If intelligence makes you click with the people around you, its fine.

If intelligence makes you click with HER specifically, its fine.

If intelligence gives you sexual imagination, its fine.

If intelligence makes you win, its fine.

But if intelligence makes you isolated, a freak, awkward, unadapted, if intelligence makes you score high in IQ tests but low in social life and low in the world, then your intelligence is a pile of crap. In other words, intelligence on its own means nothing. Its how you use it in your own advantage, and in advantage of the people around you, what makes it valuable.

If you´ve got it, use it.

03 Oct 2011, Posted by yohami in game, politics, thoughts, 12 Comments

Face value, genes, beta, alphaness, ladder, game etc.

We measure other people superficiality and take most things at face value.

If a singer makes me cry, by projecting his voice really good and giving each phrase a certain feel and articulating and projecting emotion and makes the whole thing flow effortless, I dont really give a fuck if he is a “natural” or if he took singing lessons for 20 years.

If someone comes saying “hey but this person is a fake singer! he took lessons! he wasnt born with this gift!” It would be sort of a bullshit, right? because lessons, technique, can only bring what was already there. If the guy had to take 20 years of lessons to bring his potential up and turn a carbon into a diamond, hey, I applaud his perseverance, and I would say that perseverance is a plus to the whole thing.

So.

Lets say we are in a society where singing has been mostly banned. That would mean I dont hear singers who make me cry very often. Does that mean the potential of singing is now gone from the population? Nope.

So.

We live in a society which has tamed most men into betas. Does that mean every man is a natural born beta? Nope. Does that mean men cant explore and develop leadership / dominant traits? nope.

I dont even know if there is a “beta gene”. I think most men can develop alphaness to a certain degree, just like most people can learn to sing. I think its about interest and drive, and of course natural potential. But most men are so, so far from what they would be naturally be doing if they hadnt been brainwashed into forced betaness, that just a couple of touches here and there can go a long way.

So, its not that Game changes the DNA of beta guys. Its that society is molding guys in dissonance with their own DNA, and something is needed to realign those guys into properly displaying their genotype and use what they have got for their own benefit.

You know, when you know a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, has his life figured out, is content with himself, reassured, has resources to make his way, has goals, has a network of friends and people who respect him, and looks at life in a fun / positive / forward / bold / assertive way? you know that stuff is pretty attractive, right?

I believe thats as natural as a man can get and that everyone has it in them.

That opposed to being insecure, reactive, awkward, socially inadequate, with lack of own value, afraid of his own impulses, unskilled, uncertain about what he wants, dependent on other people´s validation…

I mean. Who the fuck is “genetically” awkward? who the fuck was born to have his / herself underdeveloped, unrealized, and dependent on society who tell you who the fuck you are? What we see in the word aint “beta genes” but beta brainwashing. And the dissonance it produces in people and the mental sickness and emotional voidness it produces in people, is what´s so unattractive.

More on the beta gene vs game vs everything:

Men are wired to compete against each other and form ladders. Women are more attracted to the males who do better on the ladder, and less attracted to the men who perform worse. The position on the ladder also alters and molds the men´s character, behavior, outlook, etc. So, at face value, women respond to these superficial attributes, as they reflect the men´s position in the ladder, and ultimately, they reflect the deep core true guy´s potential – genes. And this is pretty basic, instinctual, animal stuff.

But for this stuff to properly work, for women to be filtering and picking the right genes and guys to reproduce with, properly, the guys have to be *actually* competing and sorting themselves and the output / face value has to be real rather than forced.

Society is a hijack on human nature, and it splatters all kind of men all over the place. You´ll see the talented and the broken and the evil and the good, all misplaced, all over the place, all the traits dispersed, and all the power being about capital and media manipulation, and so little power where it really matters.

I find it funny and sad that the males on top are not longer the stronger / more adept, that the smarter are not the ones in charge of fixing stuff, that evil wins, that capital is the master. Society is “broken” from a biological point of view. Its like a sims game that has been rigged. So the attributes are disperse, some guys are playing A game, some are doing B game, some are clueless and going with the motions. The women´s game, at least, is clearer, maybe because its more self centered and less externally driven than men´s: women keep wanting whats best for them, attracting the best resources for them and keeping them, filtering the bad from the good and form strong communicational nodes where they can assert whats good and bad etc… while men are trying to fit themselves in a ladder that no longer serves a purpose, this “doing the right thing, even when the right thing is bad for myself” that men often do.

I think the ladder has been tampered and needs fixing. Like we need a total revolution in the ladder.

27 Sep 2011, Posted by yohami in game, relationships, 8 Comments

Men quantity and women quality. Over time, neither produces monogamy.

Men quantity and women quality. Over time, neither produces monogamy.

While men want to be with a wide array of different women and different quality at the same time (meaning, from hot to not so hot women at the same time), women want to always be with the hotter, top and most solicited flavor of the moment.

Men want the most deals they can get. Women want the best deal they can get. Men want to open many doors. Women want to open the right door. Men are about taking risks and pushing the limit, losing big or winning big. Women are about doing the safe bet.

So women want the hot flavor of the moment, the same that everyone wants: the safe bet. And men are constantly fighting each other, often to death, to be on that hot top spot, because being on the hot spot is the key to open every door. Since the men in the spot are replaced often, women tastes also change often.

Disclaimer – women dont just want to “fuck” but they want “relationships” with the guys on top, and by relationships I mean they want complete dedication, attention, resources and focus from the guy they pick, and want that to last, at least, enough time to produce beautiful offspring. By “relationship” I dont mean they want to support the guy, be his partner and stay with him because he needs it. Its not a relationship for the guy, but a relationship for her. Cool?

So women want to breed and be associated with the flavor of the moment and the top guy, and will always want this, to be with one of the top guys – not with the top guy she picked a while ago, after he is no longer on top.

Monogamy? for the man, its unnatural. For the woman, only as long the guy she is with is the flavor of the moment – the king. Only that the king, in our culture, is so relative and brief.

07 Sep 2011, Posted by yohami in game, 11 Comments

Approach Glossary

Dark player: Hey honey, I know you are a virgin, and Im virgin too. I had a girlfriend but something sad happened. I really want you, I want to see the rainbows and our children, lets take this dream home. Love love love. Hold on, my other girl is on the line.

Alpha player: Eh, you are a virgin, too bad! I dont want to ruin your innocence (wink).

Alpha: Wow. I really like you (and lots of attention but also boundaries).

Beta player: Lets pretend Im like the guys you like. Do you like me now?

Beta: Im so lucky you are even talking to me… what could I ever do to deserve you?! just tell me what I need to do and I´ll do it! walk all over me, I can take it!

Omega: One day, one day you will be mine. One day I will be great and you will realize how much I am worth of you.

Under Omega: You´re so beautiful. I´ll never be with you. I wrote you a poem. You will find about it when Im dead.

Creep / Stalker / Freak: Stupid bitch. Take this bitch. Thats how you like it bitch. I fucking hate your guts bitch. Yeah you stupid cunt. Take it! take it!

19 Jul 2011, Posted by yohami in game, 13 Comments

My friend says “Im so sick of chasing girls, I cant deal with it emotionally”

My friend says “Im so sick of chasing girls, I cant deal with it emotionally”

Precisely, “chasing” is an uphill, so never – ever do that. The moment you get in chase mode is the moment this is a lost battle, even if you get the girl, the input / returns ratio is against you.

The set of impulses installed in you, perseverance, obsessions, drive etc are useful for achieving goals but when the goal is pussy it becomes a downspiral, since you are putting value on the girl instead of putting the value in yourself, and you know where that leads.

The more you chase the more she runs the more effort you put in the more effort she will make you put in, the more value you put on the chase the less value you have in her eyes. Instead put all of that value in yourself and be direct and clear with what you want.

If she likes you, she wont run. But if she does, keep your cool and keep moving – she knows where to find you.

18 Jul 2011, Posted by yohami in game, thoughts, 1 Comments

The Snake, The Logic & The Instincts in play

Image you are camping at some deep unknown forest. You carry some valuable items with you and you are also hurt and defenseless. Suddenly you wake up in the middle of the night and a snake is trying to enter to your tent.

You get nervous and grab something heavy and hit the snake but it doesnt care, it keeps pushing and it seems to get only more determined. So you start screaming at it and calling help but no effect whatsoever.

Then, while the snake is still pushing, you hear it talking. Its telling you how reasonable it is for you to consider its position, how reasonable it is for you to let it get in. You dont want to listen to it, you want it to go away.

If you followed me this far, see how “logic” wont make it. The only chance for the snake, other than enter by force, is to seduce you: make you turn off your own logic and instincts that are repelling it, and let it have control. Possibly for the worst. You have no control or responsibility whatsoever on whats happening.

So this scenario is at the same time horrifying and arousing.

Fear + self preservation + defenseless + crying for help + carrying valuable items + hurt + night + a snake trying to get in + lack of responsibility = women set of instincts.

In contrast a male in the same situation has a set of instincts that would make him actually get out of the tent and fight the snake in the open. Maybe at the cost of his own life. Since the snake is making an argument, establishing a logic combat with the snake might defeat it, so the male will maybe listen and have a verbal fight before risking his life, but “logic” would still be a form of violence against the snake to avoid it getting what it wants, and physical violence the natural follow up if the verbal combat fails.

And of course some women will be inviting the snake in…

But back to the point: insulting the snake, hurting the snake, “shaming” the snake instead of dialoguing with it is natural, and valid if you just want the snake to go away and keep quiet and maybe die. And if you see you are hurting the snake, you will only do it more, maybe now you will have the courage to give it a few hits and put it down for good.

- Which is what happens when guys start failing the “tests” women put them into and the downspiral that follows. -

Women´s natural way to resolve conflicts goes from-repulsion-to-violence without passing through logic or dialog. Knowing they are damaging the opponent only makes them increase what they are doing, whatever it happens to be. It works. Calling women on this behavior so they stop it, doesnt work. Saying “im not a snake” doesnt work. Explaining how reasonable it is what you are saying and how there is evidence, only makes you more of a “talking snake”, because the first instinct triggered is alerting her you are some abominable force that is violating something valuable and sacred.

You can track this on every woman on every argument ever, from the very feminine to the very masculine from strippers to politicians. Maybe theres a NAWALT for this but I havent seen it.

What about women who have an active logical mind?

Then the logic used to prove the snake is a snake, to assert negative value about the snake, to depict the snake in snaky ways. The logic isnt used to consider what the snake is saying, but to use whatever the snake says to “prove the snake nature” and “reveal the snake intentions” that the woman perceives – or thinks she perceives -, in the hopes that once the snake is exposed, external help will come and the snake will be exterminated.

In other words, during conflicts women only use the logic system to exacerbate the unwanted, rather than focusing on the common points that would lead the issue to a pacific / neutral / win win situation.

So for her, calling you names and getting offended and angry is only natural. Attempting to talk her out of that state only increases the problem. The way out: ditch the logical layer of communication, forget the “objective talk” and switch to an emotional / seduction / emphatic level, one that takes in account her fears and desires, not just her ideas, so she can respond with a different set of emotions. One ground where there´s no snake, thus no snake triggers.

You have to stop the “snake triggers” before she can listen.

08 Jul 2011, Posted by yohami in game, inner game, 21 Comments

The core of Game is beta, and nerd.

The core of Game is beta, and nerd.

Half of it is still about putting the woman in a pedestal and doing stuff for her, just that this time the stuff you do is “emulate, simulate and pretend” you are the kind of man she wants.

The other half is about punishing her for making you jump trough hoops, and resenting her for not loving you for who you really are.

So in one extreme you have the PUA monkeys who do numbers game, collect phones, try lines, try the “stuff that works”, try “closing” and take a count of notches and try to get validation from women´s acceptance – and I say “try” because its a fake one: they get validation of a technique and a mascara, its not core, inner, real validation, the women would dump them if they were themselves, and they know it.

Which leads to the other extreme, the ones who get so disenchanted to the women´s real nature and the tricks they play they have no longer love or respect for them, even when they keep wishing they would, so they engage and stop engaging and go in a downward spiral of self hate and women hate for playing the game and doing the game.

Right in the middle, though, if you understand whats going on, you can take the data in and change for real, without betraying who you really are because the real “you” switches to another thing. A path of character development, social skills and savyness. Thing is, you dont need to “emulate” something you can actually be, or were born to be. Part of this whole thing that brought up game, is that men are emasculated. If you remove the emasculation and let your stuff grow manly and shiny, it happens that your natural behavior will be close to what Game describes.

So, become alpha, rather than emulate alpha.

In my experience becoming and doing the real work is easier than faking and emulating. Having it and not caring that you have it, easier than pretending you have it and trying to convince everyone you do.

So read the game and practice stuff, and avoid becoming a monkey, and avoid becoming a dark persona. Both frames are beta (not the nurturing type) and will hurt you more than help you in the long ride.