Good presence, online, on video, in front of public, etc. Good presence is lack of shame. Not just controlled shame but lack of it. There’s stuff to be controlled, sure. The language, timing, etc. Having shame to control robs you energy from delivering the message and having presence. So with all other things being equal, even if you cant get rid of the shame, as a performer you’re better off EXPRESSING your shame as part of the message and controlling what can be controlled in the message, instead of trying to control the shame, which will kill your presence and render the message null for most people.

In more cases than not what you think as shameful, your core self or whatever is there, will be embraced if you show it like it is. Or in the cases that it doesnt, as long as you dont retreat too much, if you stand there naked with the shame and the message, this thick skin starts to grow, because there’s nothing really to defend. The ones outside throwing you stones or denying you gratification and acceptance are their own, there’s space between you and them, that space is the “skin”. If you stand there long enough you see that space and how they cannot hurt you, so you take what you can to cater the message to them if that interests you.

And for the core shame, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you standing there and delivering a message. The shame in this situation is misplaced, it’s a misunderstanding, it’s a roleplay, it “shouldnt” be there but not like a monster that shouldnt exist, but like a piece of furniture that doesnt belong to a particular space.

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