In response to http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/shame-and-indifference/

If you send vague texts, you not only avoid rejection, but also avoid putting the girl on the spot.

Girls like to avoid any responsibility and accountability when it comes to hooking up and courtship. Girls also prefer indirect or contextualized communication, or, “hints” instead of direct overt communication. Plus girls prefer when the magic “just happens” (which usually means someone else is doing the work to make them happen, but that’s a different subject). And girls want to be swept off their feet, and girls want dominant men and dont want to be asked for approval or instructions – or in other words a man who can give them what they want, without having to ask what is it. But whatever the case, they dont want to be put on the spot. Whatever happens, they dont want to be held responsible. They dont want to pay for it.

So if you call her and say “hey I met you last night I like you let’s go on a date” she has to respond yes or no immediately. She’s put on the spot.

If you text with imprecise invitations “sup” “hey [Im gonna] [watch a movie] [wanna come][with friends]?” there’s no spot, she has no accountability.

If you invite her to “hang around” which at the end of the night involves drinks, dance, and sex, for her all just happened in the spark of the moment. She didnt need to think of it, plan for it. She could have changed her mind in the middle of the “date”, there’s an ample ground for improvisation and being in the moment, because the situation is open ended. Its the realm of being in the now. Short, immediate satisfaction realm.

But if you tell her “hey we met last night, I like you let’s go on a date the two of us, grab a few drinks and then go back to your place and fuck”, she’s probably going to say no.

Covert, vague courtship works better than direct overt courtship.

Usually women excel at covert, vague communication while men suck at it.

If men are switching to vagueness and covert is because it increases their chances with women. Still, it’s not the preferred way of communication: most of us would rather just state, “hey, you and me, now”, and be done.

While girls thrive in the emotional uncertainty, as long as things just happen and they dont have to make hard choices.

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