From the video, emphasis mine:
* * *
“When people feel entitled to something they dont generally feel like they have to earn it, and they generally dont go about trying to get it by tripping over themselves as being of service, or going to the edge of the world to impress someone, prove themselves to them, or even being noticed.
When you feel entitled to something you dont jump through hoops.
You expect those things to be handed to you for a little to no effort. Just for wanting them.”
* * *
The cure for nice guys is to actually feel entitled. To stop jumping through hoops.
http://yohami.com/blog/2011/11/23/i-tell-people-what-to-do/
Because girls are wired to feel aroused by strong, powerful, confident men who know what they want and how to get it.
And girls are wired to feel repulsed to weak, whiny, bitter guys who don’t know what they want or can’t get what they want.
So when the girl is softly courted by a guy below her who’s willing to do everything she wants just for a chance to be with her, read, “nice”, and she makes him jump through hoops for diversion, or to feel less lonely, or to have her ego validated, or to extract favors, time, attention, comfort from him, with no intention to pay back with sex or romantic interest… when the “nice” guy gets angry and frustrated and bumps those not so nice feelings into her… then she feels bad.
But the wiring, the repulsion is still there.
Why can’t he be more… manly? Why is that doing shit for her and taking care of her needs is not enough? Why change the deal now? Why so angry, so bitter, so pushy, so demanding, so unattractive? Why would such a limp dick get access to such a pristine vagina? Who does he think he is? Why so accusatory?
She feels bad, so she turns the table and makes him the bad person.
Hi, defense mechanisms.
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/friends-like-these/
http://yohami.com/blog/2012/07/20/so-why-bother-with-a-long-term-relationship/
When girls hate nice guys is because they offer a reflection. And the girl in the reflection isn’t nice.
Yup, and she’s entitled to those things because she’s a special snowflake. Not just because she has a vagina.
That attractive guy had his choice of women but spent his time with her because he recognized her ‘snowflake’ was special. And don’t you dare accuse her of using her ‘snowflake’ to earn his attention. That wasn’t how it worked.
The cure for nice guys is to actually feel entitled. To stop jumping through hoops.
Holy God, YES! Not just to feel entitled but to realize that you are. We’ve seen it said many times that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. It is your decision if you wish to marry and then you decide whom. It is our job to entice you into commitment by showing you what we have to offer a man and a marriage.
It’s all completely messed up when women hold sex and commitment which is what we’ve been given today.
Take it back.
great essay.
a girl fucks a man who she feel is “more important” than her.
“The cure for nice guys is to actually feel entitled. To stop jumping through hoops.”
Yes and fuck yes.
I think a big part of the “nice guys” problem might stem from the fact that they are ashamed of their sexual desires, perhaps due to a radfem or extreme right-wing Christian upbringing and influences.
They don’t think they’re good enough as they are, so they “work” for it by being nice. And they hide their cocks, because cocks are evil and the male sex drive is bad, bad, bad. And they don’t flirt or demonstrate any sexual interest in a girl until long after she’s put him in the “good guy” box, from which there is no escape.
Here’s a pretty good article from Mark Manson. He makes some good points about guys who are ashamed of their desires and are reluctant or afraid to act on them.
http://postmasculine.com/sexual-shame
If you could get rid of that shame, you’d probably solve the vast majority of the nice guys’ issues.
Regarding nice guys, not all women avoid nice guys. I have asked nice guys out and I am a female.
Mature people don’t need to play games. If there is chemistry that both people feel, they go for it.
The secret is to be perceptive enough to tell when there is mutual attraction. Sometimes males confuse a female being polite or extroverted with an invitation. Pay attention. Don’t over-read or over think a situation. Don’t play games. If people feel the same way and are open, mature and honest, a relationship will succeed. Be perceptive, but don’t torture yourself by over analyzing relationships. Don’t carry baggage. Let your heart travel lightly and be youthful. Always have hope.
Men shouldn’t fool themselves. There is a difference between dating a party girl and dating a woman for the long term. At the same time, you have to allow that woman to express herself. You cannot smother her.
Forget about those silly rules about waiting three days and pretending to be busy. If someone is truly busy, but feels a special attraction, they will make room in their life for a relationship. Entitlement is egocentric. Silly games are egocentric. There is no place for an ego in love. Children play games. Adults live life.
I love these videos. I love how the best truths are often the simplest.
Good stuff. I fully agree with this one.
The problem starts though when you have trainee PUAs trying to improve and express entitlement in incongruent ways, trying to force the mindset before it’s settled into their identity. This ends up detracting from their value.
Not sure about telling people what to do all the time though mate. You have to be calibrated with this and have the value to back it up. Otherwise the results arne’t pretty!
hell yeah. + your vids are good bro.
Thanks mate! Appreciated!
It’s good to know we are spreading the good word.
I hear a lot from women that “nice guys are actually jerks trying to get things from us by doing nice things,” and while there is some nice-guy-entitlement-syndrome out there, when I hear this from women I think it’s a big projection. Women are taught to use their “feminine wiles” to get things from people, especially from men, and so when they see a guy being friendly and generous, they assume the giving isn’t genuine because if they were in the same position it wouldn’t be.
The “Nice Guy Debate” is only applicable to western sluts. You need to travel more and see if you still believe in this Nice Guy BS.
Few points I wanna make. Hopefully yohami can take these can produce further thoughts.
– In the 1800’s, being nice was seen as an illness.. as abnormal. Like ti wasn’t natural. The standard mode of conduct was firm professionalism from person to person.
– Women often brag about how their intution is ALWAYS right. I like to retort with “is this the same intuition that instinctively tells you that when someone treats you like shit as opposed to someone who treating you through etiquette, then the former must be more valuable/powerful/stronger/braver than the latter huh?
– One of the most abhorrent disgusting concepts is the idea that a girl would put out for a fukking loser but “save” herself for
The proverb “women will stomp over a nice guy but lick the boot of an asshole.”
As a human being, I do not want a world where useless, malicious, triggerhappy folks reign. Rational selfishness and the dark triad absoultely have their parts, but when hellspawn, tyrants, sociopaths make it to the top. Alpha needs to be strictly redefined and yohami i loved your post when u referenced that everything on tv features guys doing sketchy things.
– Credit: Diabolo Advocatus I’ve heard girls genuinely fall in love with serial killers, psycopaths, and sociopaths calling them “artists” on painting the world as it is. and get tingles when you go into depth about how to manipulate someone. Rumor has it that it’s because they reflect their cold evolutionary -might makes right -power above all -amoral-use people as a means soul.
You ever hear that term? Women = Mirror of the soul? Applies both ways.
– Credit: heartiste. Why do chicks like romantic comedies featuring nice guys? Because they see THEMSELVES as nice guys trying to earn the affections of the aloof, entitled girl.
Why do girls fall in love with cats? Same reason. Dogs are sweet, kind nurturing.
– You ever think that a hyperfeminine and hypermasculine treats people the way they want to be treated?
Like a nice guy will give gifts, consolation, protect, and serve her because deep inside thats what he wants the women to do.. be loyal and devoted.
And a girl will play push pull, throw emotional tantrums, control her, never appreciate him, because.. thats what would work on her?
Just wanted to take a few moments of silence to commend real women like Maria for the ability to tame the hamster and cherish kindness/generosity/compassion in their mates. Feminism may be bad but its produce very intelligent women who have actually learned to curtail their desires.
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