31 Mar 2012, Posted by yohami in game,inner game,reader mail, 21 Comments.
Reader mail: How should I respond to a girl staring directly into my eyes?
HC asks me about eye contact:
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How should I respond to a girl staring directly into my eyes?
Women have been doing this to me often practically since I’ve left high school 10 years ago.
Sometimes I got scared because (I’m stupid), but most of the time I just don’t know how to respond. These women stare straight into my eyes, I stare back into their eyes and then I am the one to usually look to the side (before I would look down).
What should I do? are they trying to test my alpha-ness? It would be very helpful if you could answer this question. Because I have had some very attractive women stare right into my eyes, aggressively and I know that I have missed out on some amazing opportunities with women around my age (29). And now younger women are doing it to me, which is allot less intimidating.
How should I respond to strangers?
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First a frame change:
“they are trying to test my alpha-ness.”
It’s not a test.
It’s a taste.
She is “wondering” what’s your alphaness. She’s curious. She wants to find out more. If you frame it as a “test” then you’ll want to “perform and score”, like she’s your judge, placing her and her interests above of yours, and by doing so, your alphaness will be low, so her curiosity won’t be satiated, and your imaginary test will fail.
So she is staring at you with status curiosity, she’s tasting you. What should you do?
Look back at her with sexual curiosity. Taste her.
Try to figure just by looking, how ready is she to go fuck with you. Look for fertility cues, look at her facial expression. Measure if she would be a pleasant fuck, picture yourself with her. Is she a moaner? what’s her favorite position? is she good at it? what’s her number? would you do it in an elevator with her? How compatible are you? vibe her, smell her, like she’s a sexual flower.
She’ll know when you’re doing that. You pinged her back.
She´ll blush and look away, then look at you again, or she´ll keep staring at you with anticipation: Go and say hi.
Or she will keep an analytical stare and then break it – like she wants to be worked for: Hold it. She´ll come when you’re with another girl.
Or she will be disinterested, or you will, in which case, it doesnt matter.
But if you liked her and you’re curious, go and say hi, find out if she’s cool.
As simple as that.
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21 Comments
April 1, 2012 12:45 am
Stingray
Very nice.
April 1, 2012 11:31 am
Badger @Twitter Name
Nice. One of the more proud parts of my game lately has been the development of a lot of solid eye contact without being threatening, needy or creepy – just looking, softly, at someone, and not feeling the fear to look away. Obviously, I’ve found women really respond to it.
April 02 2012 21:01 pm
yohami
+1
April 1, 2012 11:32 am
Badger @Twitter Name
Look at me:
Your “taste” idea recalls “rubbing up against your manhood”:
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2011/02/18/more-on-frame-and-fitness-testing/
April 1, 2012 10:34 pm
HC @Twitter Name
Badger: “One of the more proud parts of my game lately has been the development of a lot of solid eye contact without being threatening, needy or creepy – just looking, softly, at someone, and not feeling the fear to look away.”
I believe that Badger is on to something. Speaking with body language, because whatever is left unspoken can be accepted or denied (plausibly deniability). Women love that, because they are guarding their ego. If rejection occurs it was left unspoken. If the advance is accepted then you can hit a home run, right off the bat, with no B.S.
April 02 2012 21:11 pm
yohami
yeah
April 2, 2012 9:07 pm
Jean-Luc LeGame @Twitter Name
I’m actually working on writing a post about some very interesting eye-contact I had recently with a girl I didn’t know at first, but now I talked to her and got her name. I’ve not finished writing it but now I feel like I shouldn’t bother, because Yohami here has expressed how I felt about what happened better than I ever could have. This girl was definitely “tasting” me with her eyes, and it was powerfully erotic even though we were ten feet away from one another.
April 02 2012 21:09 pm
yohami
Do write it, and share
April 6, 2012 2:25 pm
Alpha @@alpha_persona
“But if you liked her and you’re curious, go and say hi, find out if she’s cool. ”
This sentence is the single best advice I’ve ever read on game anywhere.
Yesterday at work things got a little shuffled around in the office and I ended up being moved to a different part of the office, with my desk near this (pretty smokin) girl I’ve never met.
My super awesome, practiced Game Intro? “Hey, I’m [Alpha].” And I put my hand out.
April 06 2012 20:05 pm
yohami
Hell yeah. That's all it takes.
April 7, 2012 12:00 am
Dirt Man @@taoofdirt Dirt Man
This is awesome man, just totally awesome.
April 07 2012 00:03 am
yohami
Thanks bro
April 30, 2012 11:36 pm
Rivelino @Twitter Name
this is fucking good.
April 30, 2012 11:37 pm
Rivelino @Twitter Name
@dirtman
“This is awesome man, just totally awesome.”
exactly. he said it better than me.
April 30, 2012 11:45 pm
Rivelino @Twitter Name
imagine if you could ever read that in GQ magazine.
impossible!
this is the kind of wisdom that never makes it to the mainstream.
it is like the oral history of how to be a real man. like something said from father to son, from older brother to younger brother. from guru to student.
NOT something coming out from a huge, faceless corporation.
May 1, 2012 1:24 am
yohami
We just need our own magazines and media.
May 29, 2012 5:27 am
Rudiger
Nicely put. I love the idea of body language, but whenever I am purposeful about it, I can never tell what effect it is having.
In other words, is it that powerful. Most people site movies (Ocean’s 11 in particular) as ways to watch alphas body language. I have no idea what I messages I am giving off. Any tips?
May 29, 2012 5:35 am
yohami
Get the pickup 101 body confidence dvds. pay attention to the posture and pace and stuff material, and dont take the rest seriously.
August 20, 2012 7:51 am
Rivelino
this post really helped me today with J9.
fucking brilliant.
August 20, 2012 7:53 am
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