22 Oct 2011, Posted by yohami in conversations,game, 13 Comments.
Just a ramble I left at Rollo´s blog.
So, PUA has defined Alpha as “what attracts women”. Good. Alpha does attract women. You can break down every action and every detail and make a comprehensive list about Alpha, and then you can go and emulate it piece by piece and get similar, if not same results. Good? not arguing about that.
What Im saying is this:
Defining Alpha purely from a point of view of its results and effects, is putting it harder for yourself to reach the Alpha state.
What Alpha state? well, a state or a being or whatever is out of your current handle of things, consider this:
Mind has frames. What is a frame? a logical space where you operate. An identity. A narrative that tells your story. A mood. What you consider the boundaries of your reality. Your ego. Your beliefs and projections. Your fears. A set of premises. The foundation of yourself. Your limits. Cool? so, whatever you are, your current “frame” distorts whatever you perceive, and distorts whatever you act on, and pampers it with your frame. The hows and whys are subject for another debate.
Lets just agree for now on that the mind has frames / states.
What Im saying is that Alpha, Beta, Omega and anything in between are frames.
You project your frame out there, and the world returns you the same you´re projecting. Cause and effect. Most of the time, you are the cause. In whatever case, the stronger frame dominates and conquers the weaker frame. When reality sets its frame on you, you´re its bitch. When your frame dominates reality, reality is your bitch.
Alpha > Beta > Omega. If you put these frames to fight each other, the more dominant wins, right? So Alpha projects its dominance over the other frames, and the other frames go into reactive mode, reacting to Alpha´s proposition, and concede Alpha its power. And so on.
So. What is the problem of defining Alpha as “what attracts women”? that, duh, attracting women is like 50% of the deal.
But moreso, if you start recopilating and emulating what Alpha does, with your current (beta or whatever frame), you´re just a beta doing tricks. And. IT WILL SHOW. Chances are you will just be jumping through hoops you set for yourself, and then whipping your own ass when you fail, and pumping your self esteem when you succeed. In other words, you will be punishing and rewarding yourself.
Guess who punishes and rewards himself? not Alpha. Who tries so hard? not Alpha.
Is self punishing and self rewarding attractive? nope! trying hard attractive? nope!
So whats attractive? Loving yourself unconditionally. Being bold and assertive and getting your shit done. While being comfortable in your own skin.
Who does that? eh. Only Alpha can. And its a deluded thing for sure. It is also attractive as hell.
Can you break that down, being your own thing, doing your own thing, the whole Alpha archetype, the whole book, while at the same time expressing totally what you are, without masks or tricks, being REAL… by just doing some techniques, and because you want the results from a different frame than the frame you have? Nope.
Long story short, you can do some and get some, but there wont be enough energy to sustain it.
You cant do the whole thing. Your energy will run out. The building will be too expensive to maintain. When you get to the point most of the stuff you do is off-frame, when you start getting the results of the frame you are emulating… you´ll realize the law of diminishing returns has already hit. The stuff you get… you paid so much already, and it doesnt even start to fill the gap you´re creating on yourself by being off-frame. You wanted love, sex, admiration, dominance, whatever? you might get a tiny bit of it, but in contrast of what you are paying for it, its a fucking broken deal. Soul sucking experience. The Alpha is getting it EASY, got it? All the results are GIVEN to him. All the wonders he gets are a NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF HE BEING THERE. How unfair! the asshole doesnt even try! His frame just wins! The world is his! How can you fake the world is yours? is that a technique?
So whats the solution?
First to the problem, again:
Defining alpha by its effects is counterproductive to getting there: because the one who wants to get there, the current (beta) frame, is the one who has to be sacrificed.
Defining success by the money only makes you want the money more, and makes you forget about all the mechanics that are needed to achieve success. And, you only want all that money because you are poor. And you want the validation from the money. Because you are poor. So you ARE poor, right? Thats your identity and your frame. Thats why you CARE about money. Do rich people care about money as much as you? you probably care a lot more. Your frame probably doesnt even understand what is “being” rich, because its too busy worrying about “not having money”.
And the point is that without understanding what is to be successful, all the stuff that has to happen, the frame where it operates, etc, including the hard hard work… without understanding all of that, whats the point? you want money. Because you are poor. And always will be. Unless the poor in you dies. Unless your identity is gone.
So. The Alpha frame.
Alpha is at the top of the social chain. Alpha has abundance of everything. But Alpha is also responsible for everything, starting from himself. Alpha doesnt need anyone. But people look up to Alpha and deposit their attention on him. Alpha is the first to eat until he is satiated, and also the first to stand alert when enemies come. Alpha sets the rules. But Alpha is also responsible when things go bad. People will always, always, always, be testing Alpha to see if he is the real deal. But Alpha doesnt really care. Alpha is Alpha. Alpha is the master. When you challenge Alpha, he looks down at you like you are a child. Alpha is rich to the bone. If everything fails, at least you still have him and if he dies, its like your whole country has died. Alpha is the rule for every other man to follow. Alpha is a brute force, a brute arrow, that doesnt even try, that doesnt even work hard, because reality is his frame to bend and his bitch, and reality likes being his bitch, because he is Alpha to the core, and whats left for him is just to do his thing, amuse and enjoy himself and reach his own personal goals, which happen to transform everyone down the ladder, be himself, and rule the fucking world like it was designed to spin around him.
And every behavior that exudes from this abundance, confidence, detachment, grandiosity, bold projection, self delusion, is extremely attractive to women.
Even the negative aspects of it.
But women are also attracted to other things, example, not Alpha men. Women like drama and the only drama Alpha can generate, is to not reprocicate affection because he is busy with his abundance. Women like security and safety, and a lot of the time Alpha is not available or not around, because he is busy with his own life. So, women have room for other frames. Women are extremely attracted to Alphas, but women are not Alphas and cannot live in the frame (women´s base frame is about attachments). The Beta frame is closer to women´s, and women can relate better to it, and are attracted to it, just not as much.
So what´s the problem with defining Alpha by its effects? The problem is that you are looking indirectly and wanting, envying, the effects of the frame instead of wanting the frame directly. Like wanting the shadow of the thing instead of the thing.
But the Alpha frame doesnt care about what its effects are. The Alpha shadow is enormous but thats not what Alpha cares about. Alpha is just content with being a God and getting his way.
So from the moment one, the moment you want to be like a God so you can have power, you are wanting that because you feel powerless. And since you feel powerless, you cant feel like a God, you cant incarnate the frame, so you cant get the results, and anything you do and get will fall short and be incomplete.
But whatever. Im repeating myself.
Defining the frame by its external effects is misguiding to get there. If you want to get there, better understand what the frame is.
There are traits, behaviors, that are Alpha. The more traits and behaviors you have in yourself for good, the closer the frame is. The more you act and respond from an Alpha frame, the closer it gets. The trick, put it simply, is to drop whatever you are now. Including all your dreams and aspirations, the whole frame. A total self death. Put that down. Then create a new frame, the best Alpha frame you can and start living again from it. And you will have to repeat that fenix´s burn-and-raise dance quite a few times.
So. “Becoming” the frame rather than “procuring to obtain the results from a frame different than your own”. Become step by step. Understand your limits, fears, aspirations, crush all of that, then gain step by step, one trait at a time.
Detachment? check. Burn your house if you have to.
Sexual boldness? check. Go sex clubs if you have to.
Free spirit? check. Travel for a year or two.
Confidence? check. Get experience. Do everything enough times until its done.
Love your life? check. Quit your job if you have to.
Risk taker? check. Do really risky stuff. Until you love it.
Abundance frame? check.
Check check check. x1000.
Etc. Game as a lot of great transcriptions and stuff of verbal game and stuff. Tricks. All of that is useful. If you use that as a roadmap. Like. OK do I have problems doing this? what is the problem? then crush the problem. Until you are totally fine doing what you are doing, like its your first nature.
What is the difference between what Im saying and just honing “skills”? that Im talking about frame and identity. Im saying, transform yourself. Rather than increase yourself with skills. Im saying, smash your frame and grab the Alpha frame. Rather than “improve your masks so you can get the results from the pros”
Any body trainer knows what Im talking about, I guess.
The emphasis of guys on “getting abs”, when they should really care about whole body training, diet etc. “Oh but I dont want to do diet and train four times a week, I just want the abs”. Yeah, good luck with that.
So, if you grab the Alpha frame and move towards it, doing the skillset (Game, approaching, dominance, teasing, frame control, self amusement, etc), that stuff increases your energy rather than decreasing your energy – because what you are doing clicks with your frame and is synced to your reality.
I remember when I was learning this stuff. I was supposed to feel abundance frame and be cocky and confident… but every day reality told me otherwise. I didnt like my job nor my social circle and had a lot of external stuff putting me down. Feeling cocky was a struggle. So, I quit my job, and positioned myself where I could love my life: oh good. Now I dont have to FAKE this part. I can take something else in. Next trait please.
The easiest way to get the results of Alpha is being it. Not just “doing it” or worse “faking it”. The easiest way to get the Alpha effects is to be Alpha. Do you want everyone look at you like you are the ultimate shit? be the ultimate shit. What is the ultimate shit in your own mind? become that. Want every girl around to to be so so so so fucking attracted to you they talk about you in their sleep? then be fucking attractive. Be it.
But the effects are that. Effects.
You can measure Alpha by its effects. Feedback and measuring and seeing how the world responds to you and achieving, its all part of the road. But, again, defining Alpha by its effects only, is counterproductive if you want to get there, as it would be counterproductive to define that “acting” is “what makes the public applause”. By focusing on the effects only, your goals will be pampered by your current frame, and the stuff you will do will get you somewhere else.
The guy in that video is Alpha. And he is not doing what he is doing because he wants effects (or he would be reactive, which he isnt), but the effects are there because of who he is. If you try to get to where the guy is, by caring about the effects, you´ll get somewhere else, somewhere between fake and wannabe and tryhard. Maybe. And if you attract someone, they will also be fake wannabe and tryhards, and as off-frame as you are. Maybe. Maybe.
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