Image you are camping at some deep unknown forest. You carry some valuable items with you and you are also hurt and defenseless. Suddenly you wake up in the middle of the night and a snake is trying to enter to your tent.
You get nervous and grab something heavy and hit the snake but it doesnt care, it keeps pushing and it seems to get only more determined. So you start screaming at it and calling help but no effect whatsoever.
Then, while the snake is still pushing, you hear it talking. Its telling you how reasonable it is for you to consider its position, how reasonable it is for you to let it get in. You dont want to listen to it, you want it to go away.
If you followed me this far, see how “logic” wont make it. The only chance for the snake, other than enter by force, is to seduce you: make you turn off your own logic and instincts that are repelling it, and let it have control. Possibly for the worst. You have no control or responsibility whatsoever on whats happening.
So this scenario is at the same time horrifying and arousing.
Fear + self preservation + defenseless + crying for help + carrying valuable items + hurt + night + a snake trying to get in + lack of responsibility = women set of instincts.
In contrast a male in the same situation has a set of instincts that would make him actually get out of the tent and fight the snake in the open. Maybe at the cost of his own life. Since the snake is making an argument, establishing a logic combat with the snake might defeat it, so the male will maybe listen and have a verbal fight before risking his life, but “logic” would still be a form of violence against the snake to avoid it getting what it wants, and physical violence the natural follow up if the verbal combat fails.
And of course some women will be inviting the snake in…
But back to the point: insulting the snake, hurting the snake, “shaming” the snake instead of dialoguing with it is natural, and valid if you just want the snake to go away and keep quiet and maybe die. And if you see you are hurting the snake, you will only do it more, maybe now you will have the courage to give it a few hits and put it down for good.
– Which is what happens when guys start failing the “tests” women put them into and the downspiral that follows. –
Women´s natural way to resolve conflicts goes from-repulsion-to-violence without passing through logic or dialog. Knowing they are damaging the opponent only makes them increase what they are doing, whatever it happens to be. It works. Calling women on this behavior so they stop it, doesnt work. Saying “im not a snake” doesnt work. Explaining how reasonable it is what you are saying and how there is evidence, only makes you more of a “talking snake”, because the first instinct triggered is alerting her you are some abominable force that is violating something valuable and sacred.
You can track this on every woman on every argument ever, from the very feminine to the very masculine from strippers to politicians. Maybe theres a NAWALT for this but I havent seen it.
What about women who have an active logical mind?
Then the logic used to prove the snake is a snake, to assert negative value about the snake, to depict the snake in snaky ways. The logic isnt used to consider what the snake is saying, but to use whatever the snake says to “prove the snake nature” and “reveal the snake intentions” that the woman perceives – or thinks she perceives -, in the hopes that once the snake is exposed, external help will come and the snake will be exterminated.
In other words, during conflicts women only use the logic system to exacerbate the unwanted, rather than focusing on the common points that would lead the issue to a pacific / neutral / win win situation.
So for her, calling you names and getting offended and angry is only natural. Attempting to talk her out of that state only increases the problem. The way out: ditch the logical layer of communication, forget the “objective talk” and switch to an emotional / seduction / emphatic level, one that takes in account her fears and desires, not just her ideas, so she can respond with a different set of emotions. One ground where there´s no snake, thus no snake triggers.
You have to stop the “snake triggers” before she can listen.